Retired GP Mel lives with her husband in a village in the Wye Valley, Gloucestershire. She’s a busy woman: a mum, grandmother, Nordic walking instructor, community volunteer – and a longstanding member of RNID.
Here Mel shares her experience of hearing loss, and what being an RNID member means to her.
Pregnancy caused my hearing loss
My deafness started in my 30s, when I had children. I first noticed it because I was able to sleep through my baby daughter’s crying, and my husband Chris, couldn’t. My hearing has always been worse in my right ear, so I’d quite happily sleep on my left side so that I could block out noise. Poor old Chris would hear our daughter first so he’d get her and then nudge me because she needed feeding.
My hearing deteriorated with each of my three pregnancies. Initially I was in denial about it, but soon it became very evident. From early on, Chris knew he couldn’t talk to me from another room. If he was washing up, he’d have to turn around to have a conversation with me.
It was after my third pregnancy that I had my first audiogram, which confirmed mild hearing loss. I was diagnosed with otosclerosis, which is the fusion of the three small bones in the middle ear that contribute to conductive hearing.
Hearing loss affected my work
At first my hearing loss didn’t impact too much in everyday life or my work as a GP. But then I started to find it difficult to hear what people were saying in meetings, and if I went to a talk, I couldn’t hear unless I was sitting in the front row.
The most difficult thing was talking with patients. Often, when people are in distress, they speak very softly. It was terrible to have to say, ‘I’m sorry, can you repeat what you said?’ I realised that I was trying to work out strategies to hear, like asking a question again in a different way.
Hearing aids made a huge difference
I was in my late 30s when I first got hearing aids. I remember cycling home and I could hear the wind in my ears, which was rather wonderful. I could hear birdsong, which felt extraordinary. I was quite tearful when I got home, because I realised how much I’d been missing.
The hearing aids made a huge difference immediately, so I was really pleased that I’d got them. I’m now very dependent on them and dislike having to take them out. If I don’t have my hearing aids – if the battery runs out or there’s something wrong with them – I feel very vulnerable.
There are times when I also feel vulnerable even though I’m wearing them. When I’m out Nordic walking and we come to a lane or road, I feel as though I should have a hi-vis vest on my back saying, ‘I’m deaf’, because I don’t hear cars coming up behind me. If I’m leading a walk, I have to tell the others to let me know when a car’s coming.
Becoming a member of RNID
I’ve been part of RNID for about 30 years – ever since I was first diagnosed with otosclerosis.
Being an RNID member makes me feel like I’m part of a community – and it’s a community I care about.
I appreciate RNID’s campaigns, which I feel are really important. I enjoy the magazine, particularly the Ask the Experts and Connevans sections, and the QR codes are good as they mean I can read about things in more depth.”
Life-changing support
RNID told me about Access to Work, which was a game changer. I was given an amplified electronic stethoscope which made a huge difference, as well as special headsets for using the phone, and my little Roger pen.
My Roger pen helped outside work too. I’d avoided yoga classes for years because the teachers always spoke so softly and only got quieter as the class went on. I’d fall asleep during the relaxation part of the class because I couldn’t hear a word. The Roger pen has made a big difference – I’m able to go to a yoga class without the embarrassment of the teacher waking me up to go home!
Challenging train travel, made easier
Through RNID, I also found out I was entitled to a disabled person’s railcard. It means that anyone travelling with me saves a third on their fare. I really appreciate this because I can struggle if I’m on my own.
I remember a time when I was the only person left in the carriage because I’d missed a ‘this service ends here’ announcement telling passengers to get off the train and go to a different platform. It was a horrible feeling.
A hearing loss advocate
I’ve been volunteering in the village shop for the last five years. I love it – it’s been a great way to get to know the local community.
I do miss things people say while working in the shop, but I don’t mind explaining to customers that I’m deaf and asking them to repeat themselves.
I wear my RNID member pin badge when I’m volunteering because I find that it’s a good talking point. It gives me the chance to explain why I’m not hearing so well.
The retired GP in me has a radar for people who are not hearing well and who are not wearing hearing aids, so the RNID badge is a visual cue to have a conversation with them about hearing loss.”
I think it helps that I’m able to say to people, ‘I’m wearing hearing aids and they make a big difference.’ I’ve always been an ambassador for hearing aids – I feel quite evangelical about them.
Stronger through community
Being involved in my local community is really important to me. It helps me feel connected to my neighbourhood, and it gives me a sense of purpose. It’s small enough for most of my neighbours to be aware of my hearing loss, and generally they are very understanding and helpful.
As an RNID member, I am also part of a community that is fighting for change. It’s so reassuring to know that this community is campaigning for deaf rights, and it’s there for personal support whenever I need it.
Membership makes a difference
You too can join a powerful community that stands alongside more than 18 million people in the UK who are deaf, have hearing loss or tinnitus. Join from £25 per year.