Living with hearing loss can be devastating. It affects every part of daily life – from work and socialising to confidence and communication – and its impact on relationships and family life is often overlooked.
Dr Aamer Khan and Lesley Reynolds co‑founded The Harley Street Skin Clinic in 2005. Alongside their work at the clinic, Dr Khan is a qualified GP and regular medical expert on Good Morning Britain, while Lesley is a skincare expert and columnist.
Married since 2008, with six children and ten grandchildren, they spoke to us about how Lesley’s hearing loss affected her life and their marriage – and how getting support helped them reconnect.
Lesley, when did you first realise your hearing loss was affecting your life?
Lesley: When talking to people I would only hear a few words rather than whole sentences. Sometimes I knew what they were talking about, but obviously I was often wrong.
Dr Khan, when did you first start to notice changes in Lesley’s hearing?
Dr Khan: Over a number of years, I gradually became aware Lesley might have some hearing issues. When I was facing her, she engaged and gave no indication that she could not hear me ‒ I suppose she was reading my lips.
However, as time went on, I thought she was ignoring me and worried that she was not listening to me. I’d have to ask again and again. Eventually the penny dropped, and I began to realise that Lesley could not actually hear me.
How did Lesley’s hearing loss begin to affect your relationship?
Dr Khan: Being engaged with each other is so important when communicating.
I think I could have been more engaging and empathetic, but hearing loss does not just affect one person ‒ both the partner and the person with hearing loss wear down.
When you’re talking to somebody and they do not hear it, so you repeat it again, eventually you wonder if it’s worthwhile saying it at all. This is not right.
Lesley: From my side, I would also think, “oh I cannot be bothered”. It was so tiring trying to keep the hearing loss a secret.
Dr Khan: On both sides it becomes a frustration and in a relationship that’s not a good thing. Though our love is so great we got through it.
Lesley, how was your hearing loss affecting your daily life?
Lesley: Gradually, instead of spending time with people, I wanted to get away from them. Even when I was with family, I would clear up the kitchen and put toys back rather than having to try and listen. I found it irritating. They found it really irritating.
They say that you can be in a room with thousands of people and be lonely… My hearing loss meant I could not interact in the way I wanted.
Dr Khan: What was really noticeable was a change in Lesley’s behaviour when we had grandchildren. She was visibly withdrawing when we were together. It was easier for Lesley to go and do something, rather than to try and engage.
She kept having to ask people to repeat themselves and the children were commenting on it.
Did hearing loss impact your work?
Lesley: Yes, I started to pass patients over to him [Dr Khan]. I’d say “can you see this patient? I just cannot hear”. I did not want to sit with somebody that I could not actually help. It felt pointless, so I saw less and less people.
I saw a woman once who told me that her dog had cancer, but I thought I’d heard D for daughter. Once that happened, I realised I could not get into situations like that again – I did not want to get the wrong end of the stick. That’s why I stopped doing consultations with people.
What prompted you to finally get your hearing checked?
Lesley: I was getting to the stage where I thought I should do something. My media agent, Jaine Brent, wanted me to do more speaking engagements but I would avoid them because I was afraid of not hearing the questions and being found out.
Jaine was becoming more insistent that I should have a hearing test, then a patient came in and asked if I have a hearing problem. I said, “yes, how can you tell?” Turned out she was wearing hearing aids – I was obviously meant to meet her that day.
I asked Jaine for help and she approached Hidden Hearing and arranged a test for me. When I had the hearing test, this lovely audiologist said to me, “I find it absolutely incredible that you managed to interact with people because your hearing loss is really significant.”
How did your life change after getting hearing aids?
Lesley: It has been quite incredible and I’m so glad I did something about my hearing loss. The thing that really hit me was when I walked out of the hearing centre in Kensington High Street. Wow, it was just so noisy. I could hear buses, cars and so many things going along.
When I had to cross the road, I was really aware of how dangerous it had been. I think before I probably crossed the road unsafely. Then, once home, I sat in the garden and listened to all the birds. That was incredible.
I really wish I’d checked my hearing sooner, not just because of our relationship, but because of my whole life.
I tell everybody now that I wear hearing aids. In fact, my granddaughter regularly says to me, “have you got your hearing aids in?” She’s only seven but I think it’s good for children to know that people wear hearing aids.
I think it’s very important to talk about and that’s why I want to be involved with RNID.
Dr Khan: Now we can communicate, we actually look forward to time together by ourselves. You know, having six children and our 10th grandchild on the way means our time off is usually with people. We went out the other night to dinner and sat and talked, and it was wonderful.
Getting a hearing check may even save your marriage. Not that ours was at risk, but I’m sure people get to that point. You cannot communicate, and to fix something you’ve got to be able to communicate properly.
I think one of the great pleasures in life is communicating and connecting with people. It can really affect your mental health when you do not have that.
Lesley is also back to seeing patients. She’s engaging with people more and that’s really reflected in the feedback we get. People absolutely love coming to the clinic – most businesses where you’re dealing with people are about developing relationships.
It sounds like your hearing check changed your life?
Lesley: It has, but when I went to my GP to ask for a hearing test it took two years to come through. I could not hear anybody, and I got to a stage where I thought this is what my life was going to be like.
It would be so wonderful to help people earlier in life. That would be the most incredible thing because hearing loss robs people of a lot.
Dr Khan: From a medical perspective, I think a hearing check should be one of the screening programmes that is done regularly. I think we should do it at all ages to get a baseline and then check it annually.
The loss of hearing is often a natural ageing process, and if we monitor it, we can pick it up quicker. We do not give it enough importance and we should.
What would you say to someone who is reluctant to get their hearing checked or to wear hearing aids?
Lesley: I have discovered quite a few people who wear hearing aids, but they’ve never spoken about it. Being more open and talking about it encourages people and makes it more acceptable. I think all of us hearing aid wearers should tell everybody that we’re wearing them.
In any industry, it’s really important to be able to hear people. Whether you’re retired, a mum at home, or working in an office. Not hearing and not being able to communicate is a horrible thing. I’d encourage absolutely everybody to get their hearing checked.
