When her husband first suggested she might have hearing loss, Sian, 47, from Clackmannanshire in Scotland, didn’t want to believe it. Here, Sian shares how taking the RNID hearing check helped her accept her hearing loss and go from hiding her hearing aids to proudly telling people she is deaf.
Surrounded by noise
I have always lived in a very busy household. I’m one of six with five cousins, so family gatherings at my grandparents’ house were a riot – and overwhelming at times.
My husband and I have six grown up children between us. There’s always somebody in and out of the house and so much going on. I’m in a loud environment at work too, as a teacher, so it’s not unusual to struggle to hear conversations.
Those little things, signs that things aren’t right – I just didn’t notice them. I always thought I couldn’t hear things because of the environment rather than my hearing.
The first signs of hearing loss
When my husband Gregor and I started to share lifts about six years ago, that was the first time that anyone had pointed out that I might have a problem with my hearing. He would tell me that the music in the car was really loud. I’d just say that’s the way I like it and this went on for about 18 months, with me saying that everything was fine.
Eventually, something triggered the conversation about being deaf and I finally said that I’d do an online hearing check.
Taking the RNID hearing check
I thought I could prove Gregor wrong once and for all. I found the RNID hearing check, put my earphones in and did the test.
At first, I thought that the test wasn’t working properly. So when the results came up and said that I may have signs of hearing loss, I didn’t really believe it. However, I did book an appointment with an audiologist.
The GP told me I would probably have to wait about two years for an NHS audiology appointment. It was while services were still affected by the pandemic and the waiting times for everything were obviously very long, but I was surprised at just how long a wait I would be facing.
I ended up seeing an audiologist privately.
‘Your husband was right’
My husband came with me to the audiology appointment and I even told the audiologist that I was there to prove my husband wrong!
At the end of the appointment, he said, ‘Your husband was right’. I couldn’t believe it.
Living with undiagnosed hearing loss
When we explored it further, I realised that having measles as a child may have caused my hearing loss. I was eight when I had measles, so I’ve gone for almost 40 years not being able to hear properly.
Looking back, I realise that I’ve missed so many conversations over the years, especially in noisy bars and cafes – I just didn’t recognise it.
Adjusting to life with hearing aids
At first, I thought that getting hearing aids would be an easy answer and I’d get instant access to the sounds I was missing. In reality, I found it difficult to get used to them.
The day I got my hearing aids, I carried on as normal and went back in to work that afternoon. It turned out to be the worst decision I could have made – the noise was overwhelming.
In the staff room, the kettle went on and then someone put cutlery in the metal sink. I couldn’t bear it and had to leave. On the way home, I was driving around a busy roundabout with my window down and a lorry came past. It was so noisy with my new hearing aids in and I started to feel quite sick.
When I got home, I could hear people talking in a different room – it was all so much. The adjustment to wearing hearing aids took a long time.
From self‑conscious to proudly deaf
Gregor and I were getting married about a month after I got the hearing aids and I still hadn’t really accepted them. I remember feeling very upset that people would be able to see them at the wedding and they’d be in all my wedding photos.
That was in 2022 and I feel I’ve come so far since them. I’ve gone from worrying about the hearing aids and wondering how I would hide them to being proud to be deaf.
Learning from my students
My job as a teacher actually helped me to accept the hearing aids and my new identity. I work in a secondary school and we encourage the children to be proud of who they are, proud of their differences. I realised that I wasn’t doing that myself.
One of my students is fluent in British Sign Language (BSL) and uses it to communicate at home with her mum, who is deaf. I found that really inspiring and it encouraged me to think differently about my own hearing loss, to embrace it and also begin to learn BSL myself.
Speaking up about being deaf
Since embracing my hearing aids, I’m so much more confident to tell people that I am deaf and to ask for what I need. When we went on holiday recently, I actually let the travel company know that I am deaf.
I had a really bad experience a couple of years ago where we were seated right over the wing during the flight and I couldn’t hear a thing during the safety briefings and announcements.
I decided that I needed to speak up for myself and so, next time, I called the travel company in advance. I explained to them that I’m deaf and they allocated us seats at the front of the plane free of charge. They also offered for me to watch the safety briefing on an iPad so I could see the subtitles.
A lack of deaf awareness
Unfortunately, not all places are so accommodating. There’s a new coffee shop nearby and the building is so echoey. With the music blasting and the din of the cups and plates, it’s such a difficult acoustic environment.
It’s frustrating that places like this are designed with no thought for people who are deaf or have hearing loss. It could be difficult for people with other challenges, like neurodiversity, as well.
‘I’m deaf – so what?’
Over time, I’ve come to view my hearing loss diagnosis as a positive thing. It’s answered a lot of questions for me and changed my life in a practical sense, but it’s more than that. I think I’ve also become so much more empathetic and thoughtful about the challenges that other people face.
Everybody has their own journey and their own story. Things that many people take for granted, like getting on a train or a plane, things that seem quite simple, can be so challenging if you have a disability.
The diagnosis has given me a different outlook and perspective, and the RNID hearing check started it off so I am very grateful. I feel a bit sad that I didn’t do it sooner!
There were tears at first and it took a while to come to terms with, but I now have no problem with people seeing my hearing aids. I proudly wear my hair short now and everyone can see them. I just think ‘I’m deaf, so what?’
